White House Cafe

Chef Don is the worlds top chef with 18-Stars, one more than the renowned Alain Ducasse.

Raised in Queens, NY, Don is currently the chef at The White House. He will leave in January 2021 when the new President takes office.

Republicans call his larded “believe-me” burgers “sublime” while Democrats prefer the shorter adjective, “slime”. Whether burgers or fried chicken, Don always goes heavy on the char, ketchup and the superlatives. And while Chef Don loves his red meat just like the next man, no one can match Don’s pita with hubris, or his baloney stew with golf club soda.

The White House Café is very much a family affair as Chef Don cooks the various wild animals that his son, Don Jr, shoots, and in-turn Don Jr in turn, extols his pa’s cooking. Son-in-law Jared Kushner is the dishwasher-in-chief.

Diners are strongly encouraged to tip generously and a lucky (rich) few can expect to get Ambassadorships or government contracts.

The restaurant currently has a “F” from the Food Safety and Hygiene Inspection Services Division of Washington DC. “Fake news!” Chef Don said when asked, “I have gotten rid of all the Democrat cockroaches… just a few more to go.”